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Postby beech2764 on Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:34 pm

Hi all

I am an NQT and only qualified in June this year. I found my PGCE so hard and was so close to quitting. Towards the end of my placement I had a complete breakdown and ended up in floods of tears to my mentor and head of department, I was dreading going into school, being sick in the morning. The funny thing was I actually did really well and at no point was I anywhere near failing, all the time my mentor would tell me to have more self belief, confidence etc, but no matter what, I cannot shake this feeling. I don't really know what it was I guess I just watched experienced teachers around me and thought that all of my lessons should be like theirs and of course I thought the same about behaviour, I thought why cant the kids respect me as much as that.

Anyway I stuck it out and passed, but decided not to get a teaching job for a few months to give myself some time off, anyway i got asked to do supply in a school and they have now offered me a maternity contract. I accepted it as I thought I would be a fool not to, jobs are not easy to come by and the school is on the whole really good.

I am now so anxious it has made me start to feel ill again, I am just so scared of the unexpected and I think because of how I felt on training I am petrified I am going to feel like that again if not worse. I just do not feel good enough and just dont want to fail and be a rubbish teacher, no matter how many people drum into my head that I am good enough I cannot believe them and have become obsessed. Once I am in school I am usually ok, it is at home when I dwell on things and imagine really bads things happening i.e. having a horrible class who will not listen to anything I say, getting really bad exam results at GCSE, failing my NQT year etc. I am completely logical and know that I am being silly, but I really need some help or advice. Am I doomed to always feel like this? Is teaching just not the career for me? Has anyone else ever felt like this?
I am only 22 and have gone straight through education so i still feel really young, maybe this is the issue.

I really am at my wits end, I am a very happy, outgoing person but this is having such an impact on my life thats it doesn't seem worth it, but on the other hand I am not a quitter and I havent even given the job a chance, I think I would always regret it if I did just write it off, especially after all the hard work.

Please help!!! I don't want to give up on a fanatstic career but I am beginning to think I will need a personality transplant :-s
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Re: HELP!! HELP!!!

Postby ywith on Tue Jun 11, 2013 8:12 pm

Just read your message. I think you and my girlfriend would like to talk to each other. It could have been her speaking. Please rest assured there are other people who feel like this.
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Re: HELP!! HELP!!!

Postby WAK on Fri Jun 21, 2013 9:24 am

Hi Beech

Welcome to the wonderfully stressful world of teaching!
You are not alone in feeling this way!
I was self employed for few years, and had other jobs before doing a PGCE, and even with more 'world' experience it was still frightening and stressful. I know others on my course who had similar experiences to you, and there were even a couple who quit, so well done for hanging in there.

Behaviour is probably the most challengin thing for me. I can teach, and I know my subject, but getting the respect and attention of the kids, and knowing how to handle them all is really daunting. Sometimes I wish I'd done a degree in psychology just to understand it all!
I think if you are prepared to put some more time into strengthening the areas you see as weaknesses you'll do just fine. Listen to advice, and most importantly action it (too many people never put into practice what they are told!) There are some good books on managin the classroom that might help you (check out 'Getting the bugger to behave' on Amazon).

Good Luck!
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